Sometimes you just have to suck it up.

This is not going to be nearly as long as my last post but I just wanted to get some thoughts out. N and I were talking tonight and it really got me thinking about how we look at life, and how many little things I have let stress me out lately, and how many of those things REALLY don't matter. Life is always going to throw things at you, and it is all about how you respond to them that makes you who you are. You have to think, is this really worth my energy? will getting upset about this help anything? and the answer is normally no. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and be happy! Only you are in control of the happiness in your life, if you want there to be happiness, then let it in! allow it to take over you! I don't understand why it is so strange for someone to just be generally happy anymore. If someone is in a good mood there always has to be a reason. But I think from now on I am going to force myself to only allow joyful things into my life, not saying I'm avoiding the bad but I have control over what affects me. BE HAPPY! =D

Forgiveness, define that for me... What does it mean to Forgive. Sure the Bible says to forgive, and to not only forgive once but to forgive 77 times. But what does forgiveness look like? I've been struggling with this question a lot the last couple days, mainly because I am feeling negative emotions toward someone I thought I had, in my heart, forgiven. Does it mean you can have a normal conversation with that person, without holding a grudge? or bringing up the situation in question? Does it mean you want the best for them? despite what they did? Does it mean you feel content about what they did to you? I'm not sure. I want to say I have forgiven this person and truly wish the best for them, but I want to feel it in my heart. N had a great quote "forgiveness is when you see the person that caused you harm, and instead of wishing evil upon them, you pray for them instead. It's an attitude change." I thought this was a great way of putting it. Another thing I thought of for my own situation is that forgiveness is no longer letting that situation affect how I view myself, or that person. This view relates directly back to the happiness I was talking about earlier, I can control what I think about myself, and what I let get to me. The Devil is incredibly crafty and I just have to rely on Christ to help me fight the bad thoughts and only entertain the good and hopeful. The amount of good that has come out of this situation is ASTOUNDING, I have met and grown closer to the friends I'm certain I will have for the rest of my life. I have regained my relationship with God, I have started to become the woman I want to be. And the man of my dreams seemed to fall right into my life. =D My only regret is that I let myself stray so far from God that this had to happen to get me back. But I am thankful everyday to serve a God who will fight for me, when I don't deserve it. And I am going to challenge myself to pour good into people who we may think don't deserve it. If God can show me this much love, I can make an effort to get out of my comfort zone and help build up others. Don't underestimate the power of happiness.

If anyone actually does read this, I'd love to know your thoughts, like I said I'm trying to figure it out.

Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust said "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."

God is Love
Christ is Truth