Guilt

I have been going back and forth in my mind for ten minutes now on what to write about, and I realized that I feel the same about blogging as I do about God.

Let me explain before you start interpreting that yourself.

I go through phases, as I'm sure everyone does, with everything. My daily snack, my methods of distraction, the way I sort my time to do homework, and what nail polish I like the most. Obviously there are more but those are just a few examples. Unfortunately I also go through phases with God which is why I related it to blogging, but there is a deeper reason. Guilt. Every time I go for a long period without praying (or blogging) I feel guilty and not only do I feel guilty I feel unworthy. This normally causes a cycle of me not talking to God (or posting) because I feel as though its not worth it at this point because it has been too long and the damage is done. I never knew why I felt this and the other day as I was explaining it I figured it out.

Its because I hate when people do that to me.

When that friend who hasn't talked to you in 6 months, despite your efforts, just tries to start talking to you again like they haven't been ignoring you?! Yea thats annoying. And I guess it falls under that categorie of Do Unto Others...

So whenever I ignore God for a period of time, I think it is rude of me to just jump back in praying, asking for stuff, yada yada yada. So I don't do it. I'm not really sure of when this cycle actually stops but I know it does at some point.

Writing this got me thinking about how different we actually are from God, even though we are created in his image. By different I mean flawed. When my friend calls I should be beyond thankful to hear from them, no matter how long it had been. My selfish tendencies get in the way more than I notice I'm sure and hopefully I am become more aware of it.

I promise to try to start writing more, and thats more of a promise to myself than the few people who actually read this.

God is love
Christ is truth